last night felt
different.. i was looking for a feeling when i was with you but i think i was just too sad.. i missed you so much, but i don’t feel like you missed me
no matter how you think you feel
about me right now, you said some things that you know are untrue, hurtful, and senseless. we don’t click anymore? i never just listen and you’d rather be lonely as fuck than listen to me talk bullshit all the time, seriously? i’ve never been so sad by something in my whole life.. not even when my memere died because that didn’t sink in for awhile, strangely. i gave you everything i had, and you’re going to tell me that it was pathetic and not even real? you’re so worried about protecting your heart that you can’t even see how much you tore mine up. “i thought i could have loved you forever” yea, you really could have nobody has ever been more loyal to you than me. i don’t know what to do now and the harder i try not to think about it, the more i do. how do i leave you in my past? i know it probs sounds over exaggerated because i’m only 20 and you were only my first love, but i can’t help it. i desperately need a change of scenery. i can at least find comfort in the realization that i have a real best friend now, and i don’t care what anyone thinks about her because she’s such a real and good person.
#imaginaryenemy
